Snatched from his crib at a young age, friend and cycling legend Mike Snuggles insists he was stolen away and nurtured for several months by a mythical creature, half woman – half seal, known as the Selkie.
It’s a tall tale rooted in fact and festooned with fantasy, befitting a tormented soul whose past is as murky as the depths of the two rivers that join at nation’s capitol.
Irish lore has it that Selkies are friends of ancient fisherman, beautiful creatures who could be tamed and wed when they slithered on land and shed their sealskin exterior.
As we prepared the lines for launch, Snuggles described the details of his abduction. One such creature was so smitten with the young Snuggles that she swept him from his mothers arms somewhere near Fletcher’s Boathouse.
So it was this September, decades after the harrowing incident, that Snuggles recruited the services of the Potomac Scow fleet in an effort to rediscover this rare animal and perhaps learn the wherewithal of his kidnapping.
Tacking in a gale force headwind against mighty currents off the coast of Old Town, Snuggles searched aft and fore. To the port, to the starboard, he steered the craft.
Chumming the water with a sweet concoction of single malt and shortbread produced nothing.
This outing would bear no Selkies. As he put into Daingerfield Island, Snuggles insisted he would return to the Potomac one day to continue his quest.
Potato – Puh-tah-toe
I am no expert on mythical creatures , but you two whistle britches are wasting your time searching for this Selkie creature. Anyone with an ounce of common sense or two cents knows their ain’t no such thing as a half woman- half seal.
Now the Wampus Cat(The WC) is a different story. If I could enlist the help of the mid-atlantic scow fleet to help in the search of this ever elusive creature, we could make quick work of this task.
What does one look like? Well, no one has lived through an encounter…yet. As legend has it, The WC is a two headed cat who goes to the bathroom(#1 and #2) out both ends; simultaneously.
Now to the casual observer, The WC could be mistaken for a regular tom cat with 3 balls ( this is where the world famous “hotter than a 3 balled tom cat” saying came about). Since most WC’s enjoy peering around corners with just one of their heads, which gives them the appearance of a normal cat, it is difficult to really know for sure if you have encountered one without a team or fleet of WC trackers.
Much like other normal cats, The WC doesn’t appreciate water. So, I am not sure how the mid-atlantic scow fleet would really help with the search. I guess they might be able to provide some interesting ways to track The WC, but they will need to leave their jersey shore-esque physiques at home.